In my dreams…
I had a dream a couple of nights ago.
I dreamed of you of all people I could dream about and I dreamed of a situation we always talked about when there are endless possibilities in what I could dream about. But instead, I dreamed of you and the child we always wanted. She looked an awful lot like you and was always smiling.
In my dream, I knew you were committed as you are now, and I was scared of people finding out that we were having her; I was frightened of the fact that your family hates me for reasons I have buried so long ago. It was extremely surreal but I must admit that it felt great to have been held close by you again, to have you hold my hand as we walked back to the hospital where we were supposed to pick her up.
I was happy. You were smiling, you were happy but I know those eyes too well, I guess. I knew you were worried about something you could not tell me, but you badly wanted to hold her as I showed you her pictures and so we walked hand in hand, just like how we used to do, exactly how we used to be.
But like all dreams, it must come to an end and I didn’t like how it had ended. We were suddenly confused, we suddenly forgot where the nursery was exactly and so we split ways and I never saw you or her again because not long after the staircases I climbed, I awoke.
Just like that, once again, I lost a love I never knew I wanted to have after all.